If you want to hear some elaborate, bizarre, kind of hilarious delusions, then Jenelle Evans is your girl.
And, as we’re starting to learn, it looks like David Eason is your man.
To refresh your memory on what’s going on with these people real quick, David got fired last month after going on an unhinged Twitter rant.
He made lots of homophobic remarks, including likening gay and transgender people to dogs with fleas, and he made lots of intense pro-gun statements.
Which, you know, was pretty alarming for a guy who’s been convicted of violent crimes and who apparently has an arsenal in his home.
Oh, and he also told Chelsea Houska’s dad to "eat a bag of dicks," so that wasn’t good either.
So David got fired for that, and we know that because MTV released a statement about how "effective immediately, we are ending our relationship with him."
After that, it wasn’t clear what would happen with Jenelle. Several reports claimed that network executives were trying to figure out what to do with her, and there was a real chance she could lose her job.
Earlier this week, another report stated that she’d be resuming filming soon, and that those new episodes would focus on her relationship with her mother, since David is still out.
But both Jenelle and David gave a little interview to TMZ, and the way they tell it, that’s not the whole story.
And before we get started, just know that you’re going to want to prepare yourself: their story is really, truly ridiculous.
First, David was asked if he felt like he should apologize to the LGBT community, and this goof-ass actually answered with "I mean, I don’t even know what that means, so …"
Yep, he’s trying to say that he’s so far removed from anyone that could possibly be gay that he doesn’t even know what "LGBT" means.
OK, bud.
"But for gay people or whatever, if that’s what that abbreviation means, I’m sorry."
The poor soul doing the interview confirmed that LGBT does mean "gay people or whatever," and David said "Yeah, but see, I don’t even know. I don’t study that. It’s not in my life, it’s not in my family’s life to have to worry about something like that."
The ignorance actually hurts, doesn’t it?
He explained that "if it become a problem, then we would focus on it then," because obviously to him, having an LGBT family member would be "a problem."
Just … OK, David. OK.
Next he was asked if he felt like MTV wronged him by firing him, and he said "MTV never fired me."
See what we mean about the delusions?
"I don’t know who posted the thing on Twitter from the MTV account, but whoever runs MTV’s social media is not the boss man," he said. "That’s not the person that makes the rules."
"They never called me and said I was fired," he continued. "They never told me that I’m not getting my money. So they can do whatever they want, because it doesn’t really matter to me."
By the way, during this whole conversation, Jenelle is just standing there, and it really looks like she knows how embarrassing he’s being right now.
Because of course he was fired. It was tweeted by someone on the social media team, obviously, but the statement came from higher up. Everyone knows that.
He tried to say that they told him they didn’t want to film for the next three episodes, which, as we’ve heard, would be the last three episodes of the season.
Meaning that he was fired immediately, not that they wanted him to take some kind of break.
Interestingly though, when he was asked if he’d be filming next season, Jenelle said "if we have one," which kind of sounds like she’s trying to say a new season of Teen Mom 2 is up in the air altogether?
But she corrects herself, saying that they’d film "if we want to do it."
And hold on to your hats, friends, because here’s where it gets extra wild.
Jenelle told TMZ that "The big issue with MTV right now that I’m having a hard time swallowing is … no offense, but they showed me shooting up heroin. They showed me smoking weed. They showed me almost ODing on a couch."
"But he gets fired."
Wait, so David just did that whole big thing about not being fired, then she decided to follow up with all the awful things she’s done on the show that she should have been fired for?
And then confirmed that he was fired?
Do these people even listen to themselves?!
Apparently not, because David jumped right on that train with her, adding that "they showed Ryan driving on drugs and almost killing everybody, and he’s not fired."
So are you fired or not, David?
According to a source who spoke with The Ashley’s Reality Roundup, he’s definitely fired.
The source explained that he said he wasn’t fired because "he thinks he quit" because after being asked to apologize for his remarks, he refused.
And so "by not agreeing to do what they wanted, he knew he was going to be off the show. So he believes HE made that choice, not MTV."
As for his statement about not filming the next three episodes, the source said that he’s "not really lying" there, because a new season hasn’t been confirmed yet.
So officially, there are only three episodes left to film. But when the show gets picked up again — because come on, you know it will be, "he will not be part of it."
And we look forward to hearing all about that meltdown whenever he finally figures out what’s happening.
But of course we do fear for any balloons that may be around him at that time.