Yesterday, we had the immense pleasure of seeing the new trailer for Fifty Shades Darker, the action-packed, drama-filled, sex-tastic sequel to the massive hit, Fifty Shades of Grey.
And oh, the feelings we had …
In Fifty Shades Darker, our heroine, Anastasia Steele, starts off feeling a little freaked out by Christian Grey’s freakiness, but so much hardship ends up bringing them back together.
And there’s also the sex. We can never, ever forget that.
Hey, when you find a guy who leaves butt plugs out for his maid to sanitize and who will actually reach inside your vagina to pull out your tampon so you can have period sex, you hold on and never let go, right?
But even though we’re still so excited from seeing the trailer, it will still be a couple of long, hard, lonely months until the actual movie comes out.
So you probably want to check out these magical GIFs from the trailer in the meantime, right?
Christian Grey Has Many Muscles
Yes, Christian Grey has several issues, but he probably has more muscles! You can see at least a dozen or so in this GIF. Not that you’ll be counting though, right? Of course not — everybody knows brains don’t work properly around sexy sadists!
SHOWER SEX
This is one scene that’s sure to inspire emotion in literally everyone. Either you’re way into it for the obvious reasons, you pervs, you’re interested in getting a close look at Christian’s ridiculously huge shower, or you care about the environement. The least they could do is take their clothes off so they could actually bathe too, you know.
Christian Grey Actually Feels A Feeling!
We know, we know, Christian is “50 shades of f-cked up,” but check out the little guy here! In this very special moment, you see that Anastasia is changing him, that she has helped him to develop the ability to smile. Romance!
Oh No, A Helicopter Crash!
Hey, being sexy isn’t only about genitals and feelings! Intense action can also be sexy, and if you don’t think Mr. Grey himself crashing a damn helicopter is sexy, then check yourself.
Boats Are Magical
Look at Christian’s smile, guys, and Anastasia’s look of total pleasure. Did she see a dolphin? She probably saw a dolphin. HOT.
The Old-Fashioned Elevator Grope
Because what’s sexier than being in a small, enclosed space full of strangers, you know? Like, can you think of a BETTER place for your emotionally damaged and controlling boyfriend to grab himself a handful of you? We’ll wait.
Jack Hyde, Creeper Extraordinaire
Why does Anastasia keep attracting men who don’t understand boundaries? Is it because she has that Inner Goddess? It’s hard to say, but her boss, Jack Hyde, is all up on her, trying to get him some Steele.
Mrs. Robinson!!!
Her name isn’t really Mrs. Robinson, it’s Elena, but Anastasia gives her that hilarious nickname because she’s the woman who had an affair with Christian when he was only 15 years old. She was a grown ass woman, she saw a boy with severe emotional issues, and decided to introduce him to BDSM. What a winner!
Finally, Cuddles!
If you’ll remember, in Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian had a whole separate bedroom for Anastasia, because who wants to chain someone up and whip them and then spoon all night, right? It’s just too much. But now, everything has changed, and cuddles are fine! What a joy to see!
Christian Grey, A Literally Panty-Dropper
In this mind-boggling but still beautiful GIF, we see Anastasia slide her underwear off in the middle of a fancy restaurant. Why? What purpose does this serve? Does she think no one will notice? Why does Christian want her dirty panties? Why is any of this happening?
Christian Lets His Girlfriend Touch Him
In this emotionally charged GIF, Christian lets Anastasia touch his chest. It might not seem like much, but it is a Very Big Deal because Christian doesn’t like to be touched because his mother was a prostitute and her pimp used to beat him and probably also because he was molested by a woman he’s still friends with. So this is progress!
Oh Look, A Stalker!
One super fun part about Fifty Shades Darker — spoilers ahead! — is that this girl who Christian used to chain up or whatever decides to have a mental breakdown and start stalking Anastasia. Christian is super, super rich and lives in this huge fancy place with security, but some crazy girl still manages to do this. Holy crapola!
Seriously, So Creepy
Who knew this movie would have a touch of horror about it? Well, besides the horror that is Christian Grey’s psyche?