Much to the chagrin of Chris Brown and the satisfaction of literally everyone NOT named Chris Brown, it appears as though Rihanna has moved on from her violent ex-boyfriend.
Yes, we know, she and Brown haven’t actually dated for many years.
But chatter over their romantic status was re-ignited earlier this month after Brown talked at length about Rihanna in his recently-released documentary.
It’s pretty clear Brown wants to get back together with the artist.
Thankfully, however, Rihanna does not feel the same way.
Photos hit the Internet this week that feature Rihanna swapping some major spit with some mystery dude in Spain.
In the paparazzi pictures, Rihanna has her arms around this guy’s neck while the two take a dip in a pool, her mouth wide open and basically swallowing her lucky paramour’s tongue.
And now we have a name to attach to the brown-haired dude’s face: Hassan Jameel.
His name is reportedly Hassan Jameel.
Who the heck is Hassan Jameel, though?
According to various Internet sources, he used to make love to Naomi Campbell, as Twitter user “@averyRichBish” shared photos yesterday of Campbell kissing someone who looked very much like Jameel…
… followed by the aforementioned photos of Rihanna kissing someone who looks very much like Jameel.
This would explain why Campbell stopped following Rihanna on Twitter and Instagram.
What else do we know about Hassan Jameel.
He works for his family business. Jameel serves as the deputy president and vice chairman of Abdul Latif Jameel, according to The Sun, a company that owns the rights to sell Toyota vehicles in Saudi Arabia.
The official website talks up the company as being comprised of “diversified businesses with deep roots in the Middle East, North Africa, and Turkey."
Hassan was spotted with Campbell at a Stevie Wonder concert at last year’s Barclaycard British Summer Time Festival in Hyde Park.
This was his only high profile relationship, as far as we know, and even one of the only times he appeared in public with Campbell.
Is his romance with Rihanna fairly new? Yes.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t legitimate feelings on both sides.
“This relationship is the real deal,” a, insider close to Rihanna tells The Sun. “Rihanna has told friends she’s in love with him and seems completely smitten.”
IN LOVE WITH HIM?!?
Quick, someone check on Brown and Drake, please? Are they still breathing?
Jameel has very bad taste in professional basketball teams.
Pictures of Hassan taken at the Barclaycard festival depict him in a New York Knicks baseball hat. Ouch.
We guess this does give Jameel two reasons to be happy this week, however:
FIRST and foremost: he probably got to have sex with Rihanna. That’s pretty awesome.
SECOND, the Knicks fired Phil Jackson as Team President this morning. He was pretty terrible at his job.
So, by this time next year, Rihanna may be Jameel’s fiancee and the Knicks may be coming off a winning season.
We’re not sure which of those scenarios is more unlikely.