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Temptation Island made its grand return to TV screens on Tuesday night. 

It’s hard to believe it, but sixteen years have passed since the original series was on the air. 

Thankfully, USA Network noticed a gap in the market for TV shows that put couples on an island with a bunch of singles. 

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Yeah, we’re kidding. The format is tired as hell, but let’s get down to the couples to see if there were any redeeming qualities in this revival that nobody asked for. 

Javen and Shari

There was a lot to like about this pair. They started dating when they were just 16, and even live together. 

At 25 the pair started to grow concerned because their intentions to get married started to feel like an afterthought. 

Not helping matters: Shari knows Javen cheated several years before and she had some trust issues. 

The best course of action would be for Shari to dump his ass. Instead, she’s on an island with a bunch of singles. 

This is not going to end well!

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John and Kady

John may put on a tough exterior, but it’s just not enough to please Kady. 

For some reason, she thinks John should be more alpha male. Oh, and they met on Bumble. Kady did not confirm or deny if her bio said "looking 4 an alpha male."

As for John, he was just going with the flow and felt like the experience would bring them closer together. We hope he’s got insurance on Kady because she could be about to get robbed. 

Karl and Nicole

This couple met in a gym. Does it get more romantic than that? BRB while we barf. 

Talk about a boring first meeting. Their relationship seemingly flourished, and they have been together for almost three years. 

Nicole was with another man when she and Karl started dating, but will she stick by her man this time?

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Kaci and Evan

Ten years is a long time to spend with someone and not make a commitment. Kaci wants a nice diamond ring on her finger to seal the deal, but Evan is not all about that. 

Will he be all about getting hot and heavy with some singles in the sun? USA Network sure thinks so!

“You’ve made the choice to come here to the island because you’ve all admitted that you’re at a crossroads, right?” host Mark L. Wahlberg said when the couples arrived at the house. 

“Each of you have said that you have questions about your relationships. And you’re hoping that you’ll find the answers to those questions here.”

In a predictable move, the men and women were split up and put into separate houses with singles of the opposite sex. 

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Things took a turn on the second day when the spouses were allowed to block one of the singles from dating their significant other. 

Kady used her block first; she chose Kathryn, who seemingly hit it off wit John. In return, John blocked Roman, the man John thought Kady would be all over. 

“She’s got the fangs out, and she’s here to play dirty,” Kady said. “I definitely made the right decision.”

By the end of the installment, Mark had revealed that the couples would not be seeing each other after that night until the day they leave the island.

Yes, there were tears. 

How will all of this play out?

Find out when the series continues next Tuesday at 10/9c.